Hello

Recording my Journey...

Answering to What, When, where, Why and How?

When?

On the faithful day of 12 October 2011, I celebrated my mum birthday. It was a heavy-hearted day as I was feeling a mixture of feelings after hearing the doctors diagnosis on the same day! I was actually planning to enrol in Singapore Poly (SP) to pursue my interest in web-designing.

"I found out that the spate of incidents involving my leg being under extreme pain may be related to a tumour in my leg"

A sure way for doctors to determine the nature of the tumour is to arrange for a biospy. Feeling devastated, I hung on a brave front & continued with celebration cause really wasn't sure how bad it was except I knew I would have to go for surgery. This picture was the last time I went out for meals before going for treatments.

This is because during treatments, I was not allowed to go out for fear of infection. I was also not allowed to walk and bear any weight on my right leg for fear I fractured it before I even have my surgery, thus was only allowed to use crutches where I would need to hop on 1 leg, this process was quite tiring and drain out all my energy

What?

Slowly and gradually, I did not have any energy to use the crutches as treatments have made me weak and tired thus I relied on the wheelchair often to hospital. There was often a problem with flagging a cab down when taxi drivers saw that I was with a wheelchair. I hoped that Singapore have more rules and regulations or policies that protect and safeguard the rights of wheelchair users. This is because there is like many policies in European countries that protect the interests of the disabled or wheelchair users.

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On 14 October 2011, I was scheduled to be admitted to hospital (NUH) for an biospy test where they will cut part of the specimen on my leg and sent for lab tests to determine if the tumour is magnliant or benign.

I was also informed on admission that “IF" it is confirmed, they may have to place a hickmann line which is a tube dedicated to transfuse all sort of fluids to my body, so that I do not need to endure the pain of needles poking every now and then.

Frankly speaking, It wasn't easy to go through the treatments. The treatments was kinda tough and all kinda side effects strikes! My hair started falling off and I started to have less appetite for food, starting having fever every nowand then, vomitting and weight loss soon follows.

Oh dear. did i also mention that having a hickmann line on your body ain't easy! Why do I say that?

This is because the hickmann requires weekly dressing and flushing and as it requires to be secure on your chest, it tends to make me warm! What happens when it is warm, that area become itchy and the worse part is the dressing keeps coming off which will piss me off at times! Also, with the hickmann line, I don't really dare to bath cause another nightmare for me is that hickmann line have no backflow, meaning my hickmann line is blocked and I will panick cause there is a chance I need to have surgery to have my line replaced.

Strictly No Going Outdoors During Treatment

It is November 2 2011 I am officially starting treatment, I have to have at least 3 months of treatment before I can have surgery.

That period of time when I was receiving treatment, I was very vulnerable as I was weak and my immune system was at its lowest and simply a flu bug or cough bug can make me develop a fever. I was also very miserable and I remembered there was a time where it was Christmas eve and I was discharged two days ago from treatments and wanted to spend the festive seasons at home!

Unfortunately, I wasn't granted that chance because I developed a fever due to infection and had to be admitted as soon as possible to transfuse antibiotics and do blood cultures. At that time, having a fever was the last thing I wanted cause that means going back to the hospital.

During my stay in hospital, taking photos have become a part of it!

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(Selfies galore)

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The Cast which accompanied me for six weeks.

Surgery: One of the hardest part

2nd February 2012 marks the day I have to undergo a surgery that will change my life forever. I was scheduled to undergo a Leg Reconstruction and tumour removal! It was indeed a painful surgery and after surgery had to go for physiotherapy and life ain't easy but I gonna believe that I can do it.

To make matters worse, I developed preumonia and developed fever also and my lungs was weak and requires to strengthen my lungs, I was also coughing non stop and was required to spit out the flam for lab test.

This period of time wasn't easy for me as well as my family especially my mum since we have to travel to and fro from hospital all the time. My sisters also took care of me well and do their best to make sure I was comfortable.

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Photo with my oncologist who takes care of me well, thanks!
Picture with my orthopeadic doctor which performed surgery on my leg, Dr Suresh! He did mentioned me in his website as Amazing People

Photos with my uncle and his friend JESSICA!! Thanks so much for the IPAD and your encouragement.

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Food Woes Resulting From Treatment That Nobody Can Understand

One thing I have understood from my treatment regarding meals is that: when people see I refuse to eat hospital food, they will assume I am picky and choosy. I did tried my best. I actually starts developing a phobia for hospital food during my first treatment. This is because during the first treatment, I vomitted badly and all that came out was the hospital food that I have consumed previously which was quite a bit.

That eventually leads to me disliking and boycotting hospital foods. This is because for a patient who is receiving treatments, he/she tends to be very sensitive to the smells of food and stuff, if the mere smell of the food can make me puke then I don't see how I can actually eat it.

However, please don't judge me just because you didn't think from my angle, you wouldn't be able to understand my situation and the difficulties I faced unless you have also experienced it. Someone once told me that nobody would know how dark your situation, only I am the only one who will know it and help myself. Someone also said if one dosen't understand your difficulties, no bother explaining or defending yourself cause even if you did that, they wouldn't understand also. Thus, it is a waste of time.

I have also decided to publish a book about my life story since I enjoyed writing as well as sharing my unique stories, it may be able to inspire others as well. However, I am still working on the story and looking for sponsors ya(joking la). Decided to share my stories here as well.

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Supports During This Tough Times Means A Lot To Me

I found that being sick feels hard and tough because of treatment side effects and stuff but because of this I knew more people who cared and love me! This may be a blessing in disguise cause I also knew many doctors and nurses and I felt the special affinity I shared with many people.By looking at how many people coming to support the art exhibition, it is a testament to show that there are actually many people who is supporting me. It is heart-warming to know that many have came to support me.

At some point of the treatment, I actually wanted to throw in the towel and give up. If it wouldn't for my family and friends encouragement, my determination to complete treatment would waver and I think I won't where I am today

“A BIG THANKS TO EVERYONE WHO HAVE PLAYED A ROLE IN HOLDING ME UP! "